My latest poems

Fading Memories

I stand before the body in front of me

Cold

Not moving

Who could’ve killed this person?

Certainly not me

My hands have no blood on them

And I have no weapon on me

My mind is full of fog

I couldn’t remember what has happened to me

In the present

In the past

The world started spinning

My view was blurry

My knees buckled

And I fell upon the body before me

With familiar hair

Her freckles sprinkled across her cheeks

A familiar birthmark on arm

Her eyes were open wide

With the innocence she used to have

The fog in my mind clears

Blood appears on my hands

and I realize

I killed this person

This person is me

I killed the person I used to be

I walked with myself

to an unknown destination

Meeting the wrong people led us to the wrong road

Rather than being the one who hurts other

I became the one hurt

I realized how truly ugly we were

How ugly the world now seemed to be

I laid down and fell asleep

and dreamed

When I could watch a sunset

and say that it’s beautiful

When I could swing on a swingset

and believe that I could reach the sky

When I wasn’t walking a path of tragedy

My dream ends

But I keep my eyes shut

trying to hold onto my only salvation

Slowly I open my eyes

The body next to me is gone

I sit up feeling empty

Regrets of the Past

His voice is a quiet whisper

One I can’t understand nor hear

But it’s there

Every memory is blurred

Except one

But it’s slipping away from my grasp

Appapa , I’m Sorry

I squirm in my chair unsure what to do

My small feet swing in the air

Still too short to reach the dirt ground

My eyes trail around the room

Cracked walls with lizards crawling

An opening in the wall

leading to a dark room everyone refused to go into

A door covered in photos of my family

A small bed on the side

Where an old man sat

His limbs as thin as sticks

He breathed in the air and coughed

His eyes still held youth

And his voice was clear and firm

Still the young strong lawyer inside

Appapa, I’m Sorry

Appa nudged me to go to him

As I stepped closer Appapa studied me

And I did the same

He held me in his lap as Appa took photos

My small fingers curled around the cloth of his pants

My other hand slipped into his

I smiled

And he laughed and spoke

with the bit of happiness he lacked since Appamma past

But I couldn’t understand the words he spoke

He smiled and put me down

He spoke to Annan

And I reached to stroke his cat

Appapa, I’m sorry

We stayed for a week there

And I spent it in front of a portable tv

Watching Tom and Jerry

Appapa I’m Sorry

I lived for 8 years as a Hindu

And I didn’t bother to learn the language

Appapa I’m Sorry

I sat there paralyzed

As Appa cried

singing for you

Appapa I’m Sorry

Now I hold my regrets and my memories

As I fall to my knees

And cry