This week, we were deeply saddened by the loss of one of our Tappan Zee High School students. She was admired by her peers and teachers and we are shaken emotionally by her passing. Since this beautiful young lady was unexpectedly taken on Wednesday, following a brief illness, we have joined together, as a community, to manage our grief. I am not sharing the identity of the student in this community-wide message to provide her family with some space to deal with this unimaginable sadness and loss.
I have been a school administrator for at least two decades and I am always heartbroken when a student dies. Procedurally, we respond in a manner that stresses support for survivors in a timely fashion. Intellectually, our staff knows the protocols that must be put in place when this type of tragic event confronts our students, staff, and families. Emotionally, however, we are never prepared when a young person leaves us far too soon. I am grateful to the Tappan Zee High School administration, Mr. Rudy Arietta and his team, for being proactive in their response to the emotional needs of our students, staff, and the family. I am also grateful to the first responders who kept us informed every step of the way and to our Pupil Personnel Support staff, under the direction of Dr. Karen Tesik, for their guidance and support throughout these sad days.
After having spent some time at Tappan Zee High School this week, my sense is that our high school students are clearly saddened by the loss of their friend and schoolmate. Several students have accessed the school’s counseling team and have sought interventions for positive mental health supports, for themselves and for their peers. I was approached by a student named Lauren who requested that the District install a seating area for students in the hallway near the cafeteria. This new seating area could be an alternative to the existing lunchroom tables and would be dedicated to the memory of her classmate who recently passed away. It is important that students generate strategies such as this to help them process grief and I applaud Lauren for her leadership and for taking the time to discuss this with me.
We are sentient beings and it is only natural that we contemplate our own mortality – it’s what makes us human. While it is not the role of the school district to discuss the nature of our existence from a spiritual or philosophical perspective, we understand and respect our families’ rights and responsibilities in terms of helping their children deal with the death of someone near to them. Please visit the website for The National Center for Grieving Children and Families to learn more about how to help a grieving child or contact the principal at your child’s school for more information. I know that brighter days lie ahead, but in the meantime, please remember that our greatest strength, as a community, is our compassion for each other and our willingness to support each other when times are tough.