Recently, SOMS 7th grade girls participated in a group activity facilitated by 7th grade guidance counselors Siobhan Maiorano and Trish Iannucci. The activity was designed to have them think about how adolescent girls handle conflict and the lasting impact these actions can have. Girls tend to use relational aggression, which is described as any behavior intended to harm someone by damaging or manipulating relationships with others. Some of the relational aggression that SOMS girls have seen include the spreading of gossip and rumors, excluding someone from group activities, attempts to build alliances so that one person is left out, ignoring someone, and using social media to further exclude or taunt someone.
As we know, much value is placed on friendships and social connections during these middle school years. Through this activity, our girls were able to talk to each other about how being excluded, being the subject of gossip and rumors, etc. makes them feel and begin to understand that these actions can have a lasting emotional impact on a person. Students talked about feeling left out, confused, angry, and questioning their own actions. As adults, many of us can probably think back to our middle school years and remember having similar experiences and feelings.
Conflict is a part of life and not everyone will be friends. However, every student at SOMS deserves respect. We encourage our students to think about the effect their words and actions might have on someone else and not engage in these negative behaviors. We encourage bystanders to take the brave step of intervening and telling someone to stop these negative actions. We encourage all students to say something to an adult, a parent, a counselor or a teacher. This is not “telling on someone”. It is simply being concerned about another person and reaching out to get them help. Please continue this conversation at home. We know we will have the greatest impact when these discussions continue outside of school.
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